Fake Girls: Are You One of Them? A Poem by Halsdoll

Eve wants more than she has.

Spread her fingers wide for she is never satisfied.

Once she was pure but is now tainted by greed.

Only one mission

She yearns–

Completion–

Separate from Adam.

She goes to great length

To improve herself through

knowledge and beauty.

She is a sad existence

Who needs so many admirers.

Don’t be surprised that

She is an empty container

Without a soul.

She has many disposable loyal pets.

And the only one she considered friend

Is Narcissism.

P.S

Poem dedicated to the fake girls I’ve come across in my life. I have one advice for you: Inner beauty is more important than outward because that’s the beauty that never dies. Wish you luck that you may find beauty within yourself. A bad apple is a bad apple.

Netflix Series Atelier: It’s Not Just About Underwear

My mother once said, you can tell a lot about a person’s personality based on the shoes he or she wears.  From looking at the picture below (yes it’s my shoes), that’s not far from the truth.

I’m plain, practical, and environmentally conscious.  Rain or shine, I love to walk. I’ve had these shoes for over 12 years! The more I wear it, the more comfortable it feels. As much as I adore my beaten-up shoes, I do feel self-conscious about it, especially around other women.  Not everyone finds my shoes adorable, especially my mother who often scolded me for my unkempt appearance.  They might even associate it with the lack of funds in my bank account after seeing me wear the same shoes every day, or what is worse, they might see me lacking in confidence as a woman. Unfortunately, women do care a lot about their appearance and there is a good reason why.

After watching a chic Netflix show called Atelier, the concept can’t be more true–women often choose clothes to express their inner beauty.   In this case, the show uses lingerie and not shoes to illustrate this point.  Lingerie is a metaphor for beauty.  After all, lingerie is not meant to be displayed because real beauty, according to the show, is hidden and each woman defines it differently.

You are probably thinking it’s just a show about women. Not entirely true.  It’s about creators who wish to express themselves a bit more freely apart from doing business.  Making money and creating art are two different things.  The show clearly pointed that out.  If you are an artist, or a creative person, I think you can empathize with the characters very well. We often struggle with creating things we don’t always want to do, but we do it because there is a market for it. It’s like a show that cheers all the creative people in the world: “You can do it as a struggling artist! Make money with your art!” I was so moved by the scene where one of the characters subtly insulted businessmen and their mass-produced products. Businessmen/women have the tendency to follow what is popular—they research a product just to secure a profit. I get it. Money is the backbone of a functioning society, however, starving creativity, kills the human soul. We begin to ask ourselves what’s the meaning of our existence if we can’t create the things we want.

Another thing I liked about the show was watching the main character (Mayuko Tokita) and the side character (Mayumi Nanjo) interacting like mother and daughter. They don’t always agree with each other. The mother-like character was always scolding the unruly daughter.  Overall, I thought the show did a great job with characters development. They all grew and as a result, I learned something very valuable along with them.  Maybe it’s time for me to have some self-confidence. Get a new pair of shoes and run after my true passion (sorry ancestors if my passion brings you shame).

I am surprised how much I enjoyed the show. I didn’t expect much from it.  I recommend this show, especially to female audience or if you are one of those people who are in tuned with your creative side.

Note: Originally posted on Mar. 29, 2019, revised Jul. 20, 2020.

How to Connect with Friends

If you want a friend just connect to Lain. Place the cursor over the email icon. Then click twice to open link. Do you have a message? Who is it from?

“It’s me.

I am just conscience

without a body.

Nice to meet you.”

scribble

If you iron your thoughts,your reality will appear to make sense. Put words in a dress and yet the meaning is still hidden. Eyes can see everything and yet still blind.

Just delete bad memories if you don’t want to remember. Just delete yourself if you don’t want to exist. Even if we delete ourselves, we are still connected. 

This is a free verse/doodling for the animated series Serial Experiments Lain. What possessed me to watch it? Somehow, I remember an old chat friend telling me this was his favorite anime. He once said, “All you need is one person to believe in you.” I disagree. Actually, the only person you need to connect with is yourself. Once you are in tuned with yourself, then you can connect with others in a healthy way.

Note: Originally posted on Aug. 21, 2018 from my old blog